Birthday card ideas

My fourth year at BYU, I was given the church calling "birthday committee co-chair."  I magnified my calling by making and sending birthday cards to people in the ward.  Since it would have been too expensive to buy cards, I made them using a stash of pictures I cut out of magazines.  The following are some of my best card ideas.

 1) Though she could not speak their language, Amy acted out the appropriate way to handle a celebratory incendiary desert and the natives soon got the idea.

2) Marvin celebrated by going on a jumprope binge.
Hope your birthday finds you jumping for joy.

3) How.  Paleface mark passing of another 12 moons of life.  Make-um cake.  Stuff-um face.  Happy-um birthday.

4) “I didn’t order steak!” 
Hope your birthday brings you a PLEASANT surprise.

5) If he could spear the elusive and tasty cakefish, he could feed his family for many moons.

6) Hope_you_have_a_wonderful_birthday@today.org

7) The candles have been out for an hour!  You can stop blowing now!
In the Middle East they believe in thoroughness, even in the matter of blowing out the flames of birthday candles.

8) “Hold it!  What’s that glow?”
“Sir, I believe the subject is having a birthday party.  Those are the candles from the cake.”
Lit birthday candles visible from low geo-synchronous orbit is a little much, don’t you think?

9) (picture of pirates fighting on the beach)
The birthday boy ALWAYS gets the first piece of cake!

10)  (picture of lion attacking man’s arm)
The birthday boy ALWAYS gets the first bite.

11) (picture of man & boy both with gas masks on)
Okay you may light the birthday candles.

12)  (picture of Bridget Bardot hugging a mule)
It’s your birthday; have you hugged your donkey yet?

13) "Why Charles, you look famished!  Bob, get this man some birthday cake!"
It has been proven that the human body can not go more than 365 days without it. 

14) Five feet later, the tire blew again.
May your life’s journey be like traveling in a lambourgini hot rod with air conditioning & TWO spare tires in the trunk.

15) (picture of emperor penguins)
Although dressed in their finest birthday suits, the penguins were turned away at the door.

16) (picture of a bolt of lightning)
Aha!  You lied about your age again!

17)  *pssssst*!  Hey buddy! My sources tell me someone’s having a birthday.  You wouldn’t happen to know who that would be, would you? 

18)  (picture of big fire)
Your cake’s on fire!  Too many candles!  Too many candles!  Happy Birthday!

19) (picture of sinking boat)
I have the sinking feeling I missed your birthday.  Forgive? 

20) (picture of Buddist monk)
Remember, begger who sit in marketplace is deaf to song of nightinggale.  (That’s Buddist for “Happy Birthday”)

21) (picture of tornado)
It's your birthday.  Play so hard that God has to clean up after you.

22) (picture of old man strumming a guitar)
Happy birthday, and all that jazz.  No blues allowed.

23)  (picture of men in pitch helmets sitting around a table outside)
"If you sit, it will come."
11 British philosophers try out a new theory about birthday cakes.
365 1/4 days is a LOOOONG time to wait.

24) (picture of racks of trenchcoats)
Failed products of yesteryear: A Troelstrup Birthday Suit.
From what we can see, yours looks as good as the day you got it.  Happy Birthday to you!  (and your "suit" too!)

25) Marvin subscribed to the belief that anything worth doing was worth overdoing.
Don't forget to brush your teeth after all that cake and ice cream.

26) (picture of concert pianist staring at the camera in surprise)
You want me, a world famous concert pianist worth millions of dollars to play WHAT?
Happy birthday to you...

Brought to you by the Rabid Stamp-Wielding Birthday Fairy