How to add in a character during revision

When I was doing a first-pass of revision of my novel, I realized that I had completely forgotten to include a secondary character, named Jepp Marvel. He’s first in command of the army, but he’s a secondary character. (Talk about a tricky situation!)

I was faced with the task of figuring out where to add him into the story in such a way as to make it better and not break what I already had.  Thorny problem. I didn’t want to make a bunch of changes and then realize later that they didn’t work and have to take them out again. That way lies madness.

So I figured out a method to test-drive the changes before adding them.

First, I used a print-out with a chapter-by-chapter synopsis of the events in my story. I went through and highlighted all the places near the end where the 2^nd-in-command (one of the main characters, named Trice) did something. 

Then I went scene by scene through the ending section and figured out what stuff Trice still HAD to do to keep maximum emotional impact for the story.  Trice is a villain, so I had to keep him villainous.

Then I started a revision document, listing what-if scenarios, scene-by-scene.  What if Jepp did this thing here?  I wrote that down in a revision document, and I wrote down what would change and how that would affect the rest of the story.  If there was something later that contradicted or made that change impossible, or if things got broken too much, then that what-if scenario was no good and I crossed it out and tried a different one.  If I found a what-if scenario that worked, then I labeled it as a change that had to be made in that scene.

I had one place where it didn’t work for either Trice or Jepp to be involved, but one of them had to be there to do it.  In that case, I figured out which one it HAD to be, and figured what exactly the limiting factor was and started brainstorming ways to alleviate it.  Trice had to be injured in one scene, but he couldn’t be too injured, otherwise he couldn’t carry somebody later that he had to carry. 

Once I finished, I had a documents listing all the revisions that had to be made in each scene so that Jepp could be added.  (It also lists why so I can remember my brilliant reasoning. J) The analysis I did ensures that I can make those changes with the confidence that they will jive with the rest of the story and not break anything else.

I imagine that this method could be used for other types of wide-rippling changes that a writer contemplates making during revisions.

Things to do on next book as I write that will prevent headache in revision

1)   Write the summary of the action for each scene  (This will help with creating the story synopsis.)

2)   Track the goal of each scene, character goal (This will ensure that characters remain active and purposeful, moving the story forward.)

3)   Track the conflict of each scene, source of tension. (This will help ensure that each scene is interesting)

4)   Track the change that occurs to move the story forward (This will help ensure that each scene is necessary to the story)

5)   Track the promises that are made and where they are kept (This will help ensure that I leave no threads hanging that shouldn’t be tied up by the end. Unless they are supposed to still hang free for a series.)

6)   Track what people do to fall in love or show love for each other. (This will help ensure that relationship arcs build in a meaningful and natural way.)

7)   Track time passage (This will ensure that I can track the timing of the plot and spot any problems.)

As I read through what I have written, I might find things that have to be fixed or added later. I can make notes on these things and leave them, since later I might find the issue will have worked itself out or is no longer valid. 

Hopefully this will give me direction on revisions.

Writing climactic battle scenes (+ kittens)

I'm working on the climactic battle scene of my current novel, and as I was preparing for this, I realized the task was going to be complex.

Write battle. (I haven't done this before.)
+
Write climax of the story. (I haven't done this before either. This is my second novel, but the first in which that I have gotten this far.)

So what do I do? I research.

There was helpful hints out there, but they were scattered all over and embedded in articles about larger story structure.  So I had to collect them and chew on them and digest them.

I'm going to share what I found. (Whether I can implement all these principles in my own novel remains to be seen, but at least I can make this helpful to you, dear reader.)

*Ahem.*

How to Write a Climactic Battle Scene

Make sure each character has a goal. Make the goals clear, and make it really matter. If the character doesn't succeed, what do they lose?  Power? Control? Freedom? Wealth? Respect? Love? Loyalty?  Life? The lives of all they love? Their soul?  Will all the fluffy kittens die and no more rainbows will appear forever?

Also, point of view will need to be carefully chosen for greatest impact at various points.
Pay attention to each main characters’ internal and external goals for the scene and for the story.

Involve suspense.  Show the preparations of Lord Evil of Mount Doom-y Doom and how they will exploit the protagonist weaknesses so that they see something terrible is coming.  When the readers know more than the characters do, it creates dramatic irony and suspense.

Make the hero vulnerable. i.e. they can be killed, trapped, enslaved, destroyed politically or professionally, or ruined financially or socially. Vulnerability can come from the character’s own physical, mental or emotional shortcomings and conflicts as well as from the machinations of the adversary.

Threaten character’s safety, goals, morals, possessions, freedom, family, beliefs...  And their kittens.

Rack up the tension and suspense by making more and bigger promises about problems to come – disasters that will devastate the hero and his allies, shatter his plans and bring him so low that he might never recover.  Climaxes are where the consequences come after the hero.
(Show the dreadful kitten-gun that will be leveled at all the kittens.)

Create effects that spread the danger and damage early in the fight. Everyone should feel they are in danger, even the antagonist.

Focus on who is the largest threat to the villain and knock out a few heroes, but avoid downing them so early that they don’t feel like they can contribute. 
Make sure the hero appears as the underdog. (Or an under-kitten?) Or reduce them to underdog status quickly. However, avoid effects that completely neutralize character abilities or arbitrarily cripple them.

Being forced to compensate for a lost ability can be a good end for a minor arc, but for the campaign’s end, the heroes should be able to use everything they've learned and everything in their arsenal.  Even their kittens. (Rarr.)

There will be moments when the characters calculate chances and risks and analyze advantages and disadvantages of various courses of action. There will also be moments when they act on instinct and go by their gut.  (Like kittens.)

Consider when you can include a shift in tactics or calling for guards, or a transformation of the environment.  Negotiation turns to violence. Violence turns to diversion (like when the herd of kittens is released into the yarn factory). Success that is shattered by an ambush from the side.  Or mix these all up.

Remember to use scene and sequel. One act leads to a response, that leads to another.
With battles, efforts to destroy are "up to 11" on a scale of 1 to 10.  No punches are pulled unless there is a chance that the opposite side is weakening and may give in. (Punches may not even be pulled then.) For the antagonist, diplomacy is battle by words, and parley and peace is delaying battle for strategic advantage.
Try to avoid a fight of attrition.

Let your hero think he’s won – then tear victory from his grasp and turn it into absolute, crushing defeat.

Up to this point, the protagonist has been contemplating a transformation. Now she’s tested to see if she has changed.
Make your hero face his/her greatest fear – and risk losing the thing that matters most to him/her. (I hear you ask, "Like maybe losing their kittens?" Yes, maybe.) 

Expose protagonist to his greatest nightmare. (Kitten zombies?) Make sure to have warring emotions at the time of greatest decision.
Then tip it to one side with a little factor of deep meaning that offers a glimmer of hope or inspiration. (like kittens!) (The little factor has to be carefully set up and invested with meaning in the previous scenes for this to work.) Alternatively, if no hope of survival can be offered, offer a glimmer of hope that a sacrifice will not be in vain.
Make the peak moment of the scene run in slow motion with excruciating detail in description. Show it through all the senses.
Includes a moment of truth  -- The protagonist must realize ______.

The impossible task. The last stand against the enemy.  The kitten's back is against the wall, cornered by the wolves.
The hero must solve their own problems in the climactic battle. (Must define what the problems at the various stages)

Climax needs to resolve love plot and adventure plot.
The climax must fulfill all the promises of the story. (So you have to keep track of all the promises you've made about what the battle will be like or what might be used and prepare a way to keep them.)
It must also answer the story question.

The climax must settle the issue of whether the hero will or won’t achieve the goal.
1) The hero achieves the goal. Happiness ensues. Or,
2) The hero does not achieve the goal and realizes the goal was a false lead and he's better off without it. Happiness ensues. Or,
3) The hero does not achieve the goal and discovers a better goal and achieves it. (Best when the better goal was under his nose all the time.) Happiness ensues. (+ kittens)

Justice must be done.
There must be judgment, punishment, and restitution. If redemption can be worked in, even better, but it must be consistent with the character.
Dead kittens must be avenged as the kitten killer is brought to justice, wounded kittens must be healed, enslaved kittens must be released.. You get the idea.

Give a sense of what the hero’s life will be like after the story ends. 
What will life be like back at home for the protagonist? (Hopefully with kittens.)

Make sure the relationship arcs are resolving in the place they should. (There may even be a tiny relationship arc that is a mini-version of the story arc.)
Make sure minor plot lines are resolving in slower moments.

And hopefully everything ends up happily ever after, with kittens and rainbows and satisfied readers who buy more copies of your book to thrust into their friends' hands.

Writing Tool: Reverse Outlining

Just about everyone is familiar with the process of creating an outline and writing from that; it’s something taught in just about every English class at school.  However, the reverse outline is another writing tool that is just as useful as the pre-writing outline, although it has a different purpose.

What is a reverse outline?  Do you take your pre-writing outline and hold it up to the mirror?  (eye roll) No. 

A reverse outline is when you read through what you have written and summarize it in outline form in a separate document.  Happily, it doesn’t have to have Roman numerals and indenting.  (Who wants to fight with Microsoft word over that stuff? Not me!) The reverse outline can be as simple as a list.  In fact, the simpler, the better.

If you’re writing non-fiction, a reverse outline summarizes the main points you make and the way you try to make them.  Example:

Prairie dogs are good eating.

Story about eating prairie dogs when starving. They were filling.

Health benefits observed when eating prairie dogs. Lustrous hair and energy.

Story about imported prairie dogs saving the lives of malnourished Chinese children.

If you’re writing fiction, a reverse outline summarizes the events that happened in a chapter that are most important to your plot.

            Frank chases down heart-broken Wanda

            Wanda explains why she can’t trust Frank; she saw him kissing Charlene

            Frank explains kissing is part of normal Hispanic greetings.

            Wanda is skeptical because of the length of the kiss and storms off.

            Frank realizes he may lose the love of his life if he doesn’t get act together.

So how does a reverse outline really help?

Cognitively, we can only keep so much in our memory at a time, so making a reverse outline gives us a visual way to evaluate a lot of text easily.

While pre-writing outlines show us where our writing should go before we actually write it, a reverse outline shows us what is actually there once we’ve written.  Often the pre and post outlines don’t match. 

By studying your reverse outline, you can see if there are holes in your logic or missing pieces in your plot.

Not only that, but reverse outlines can become a tool for manipulating our long texts.  I can look at my reverse outline and see where I got off track.  I can see where the progression of my logic or story is out of order.  If I can move a few lines around in my reverse outline, that shows me where I can move much larger chunks in my long-form writing.

Story time!

I had to discover reverse outlining for myself. I was working on a religious book about applying the Book of Isaiah to modern teenage problems, and I noticed that as my chapters got longer and longer, I had a hard time making sure things flowed in a logical manner. 

I could keep about three pages of ideas in my head at a time, and keep those flowing, but beyond that, I just felt like I wasted too much time reminding myself what I’d written before moving anything around.  And if I wanted to insert new stuff it would break my beautiful linearity and then I had to wrestle with the whole thing again.

So I had to invent reverse outlining. (Yes, I know I didn’t really invent it; it’s been around a long time, but I had to discover-invent it for myself.)

I said to myself, “Self, you need a list of all the main points you’re trying to make in the order that you’re making them.”  So I made that list, and that was my very first reverse outline ever. 

Once I had it, I could see exactly where I needed to move things. I could see what arguments were duplicated. I could see where the holes were. I could see where I’d gotten distracted and gone off topic.  By using a reverse outline, my book became much more of a cohesive whole.

I remember I felt absolutely brilliant for having invented reverse outlining. It was like a shiny new toy that I played with.

More points about reverse outlines in fiction

“But Michaela,” you cry, “What about when writing fiction? I already have an outline I create from! Why do I need to do a reverse outline too?”

Again, reverse outlines tell you what you actually have in your story instead of what you want or plan to have.  They tell you the cold hard facts in the light of day.  And if a scene contains events but nothing that actually pushes the plot forward, then you know it’s unimportant and can be removed.

Reverse outlines for fiction can actually include much more than just a list of important plot events.  I use them to evaluate my scenes as I go. 

After I list events in the scene, I will then make a list of the conflicts that occur in the scene.  If you can’t figure out what the conflict is, then of course you’ll need to put some in.  I use a sign of >< to show what the conflicts are.  (Ideally these are conflicts directly related to the plot.) Examples:

>< The dragon wants Jessary to learn to read, but Jessary doesn’t want to.

>< Jessary wants food, but the dragon is unsympathetic.

You can also evaluate sources of tension in the scene, and naturally if you can’t find where tension is coming from, then you have to insert some ASAP.

            T Darkness in the cave and scary noises.

            T Fear of being eaten by the dragon.

            T Uncertainty of where to go from here and what life will be like.

Occasionally I will also evaluate the emotional direction of the scene, whether it goes from positive to negative or the other direction.  This helps me see where I am leaving my readers emotionally at the end of a scene, whether it is in a place of rising hopes or a situation of gathering darkness and trouble.   Emotional direction can be represented with +/-  or -/+. 

            -/+ Jessary escapes the dragon and is free.

            +/- The dragon realizes Jessary—his only hope to break the spell—is missing.

All these tools can help you evaluate the strength of your story as you write it and help you identify areas of improvement. That way, when you finish the whole darn thing, you know where you need to start revising.

 Bonus: If another author ever asks you to read their work and give them feedback, making a reverse outline can help you evaluate better. 

When you read a book and it disappoints you

Sometimes you’ll pick up a book and it hooks you enough that you push through to the end.  But then the ending makes you say, “WHAT?  NO!  That’s just wrong!”

This happened to me recently; a book I read ticked me off.  I’m not going to say the title or author because I don’t want to shame the individual.   She probably won’t ever read my blog, but I’m going to be courteous anyway.

Anyway, the ending irritated me.  I felt like the twists were not foreshadowed well enough, and

I felt like the reason the hero gave for loving the heroine was a total mismatch with the kind of relationship they had.  For most of the book, the hero and the heroine were at odds with each other, and there was even some question as to whether the hero might actually be the villain.  The hero stonewalled and sought to thwart the heroine every step of the way. With that kind of relationship, did I believe it when the hero told the heroine that he loved her from the first moment he saw her?  No!  No, I didn’t!  He did not love her from the first moment he saw her.  His behavior showed none of that.  There was one scene at the 2/3^rd point when he was subtly protective, but that wasn’t enough.  There was a sequence when they were together and told each other stories, but that was never presented in scene, only as exposition and narration, so it never felt real to me as a reader.  

What would have been more believable is if the hero had said, “I hated you when you came, and I was determined to fight you, but you won me over anyway, and now I can’t imagine life without you.”   And with all the conflict between them early in their acquaintance, the scene where they confessed their love needed a lot more rehashing of previous events.  They needed to explain to each other when they first noticed each other as a romantic prospect, when they first started to love each other, what they thought, what they feared, when they doubted, etc.  That all needed to be explained in order to make the ending feel satisfying and believable.

I also had a hard time believing that the villain was the villain when that was revealed.  The villain was the only person who was kind to the heroine in a very hostile social environment.  The environment stayed hostile for a long time, and the villain was friendly for a long time.  There was just one little scene where the villain snapped a bit and let down the mask.  But because of the villain’s pattern of kind behavior, this seemed like an aberration, rather than showing true colors.  I had a hard time believing that the villain would have the moral courage to show friendliness to the heroine when everyone else was determined to isolate the heroine socially for so long.

There’s a problem when you get to the end of the book and you’re not convinced that the twists are really the truth.  It means there’s been inadequate characterization or foreshadowing.  In this case, I think it was inadequate characterization.  The truth didn’t fit the larger pattern of behavior for the character.

As you can see, when I get done with a book and I don’t like the ending, it helps me to analyze what went wrong in it that left me dissatisfied.   It gives me a little more insight as to what is required for a good story to work.  Frequently I end up asking myself, “Does my story make that mistake too?”  And if so, that becomes an opportunity to improve my own writing.

Writing fast

I imagine that anyone who writes or wants to write novels will probably find themselves wondering, “How can I write faster?” 

There are a number of factors to take into account.

What’s your record?  You can’t know if you are writing faster unless you have been keeping track of your productivity in the first place.   I have a spreadsheet on which I track the dates I have written, my starting and stopping times, and my word-count during that period of time.  I’ve been doing this for several years and this helps me notice work patterns and gives me a baseline for judging my own productivity.

What is the best way that you work?  Experiment. 

I actually write fiction faster if I handwrite it instead of typing it.  This was totally counter-intuitive to me, and only a freak accident could pry my Macbook Air from my fingers long enough for me to figure this out.

Story time!   

I was at a writing retreat and on the second-to-last day in the afternoon I discovered that I had inexplicably unconsciously severed my computer’s power cord. (gasp) Long story as to how, but essentially I couldn’t use my computer for the rest of the retreat. (Chagrin! Dismay!)

I could have spent the rest of the time commiserating endlessly with my writing buddies (and thereby wasting their time). I could have demanded someone take me to an Apple store immediately so I could replace my power cord.  But instead, I chose to go old school--paper and pencil.  How productive could I be while handwriting?   I decided to experiment to find out.

I recorded my start time and my end time, and then I counted every word I had written.  (A bit mind-numbing, yes. But I was curious.)  My word count actually went up. 

So I did it again.  Wrote for an hour, recording start and end time, and then counted my words.  My word-count went up again.  I had actually improved!

I did it again.  My word-count went up again.   

Whoooooa!  Dude!  What does this mean?  Could it be....?

Over the process of experimenting with this, I discovered that I really did compose fiction faster when handwriting.  This shocked me because I have typed my journal entries for years because that is faster.   I type when journaling, but I compose fiction best while handwriting.

Why was handwriting faster for me?  When I try to compose while typing, I write a sentence quickly, and then spend minutes between sentences thinking of what I’m going to say next.  And I get distracted by other thoughts and I have to pull myself back on task and then I forget where I was in the story, so I have to reread and then think some more.  And when I finally think of something to write, the words don’t seem to appear until I’m actually typing them. 

When I’m handwriting, I think of a sentence, and as I am writing out that sentence, my mind has time to think about the next sentence. By the time I get to the period, the next sentence is there in my head and I never pause, just keep writing.  Sure, I can type faster than I can handwrite, but the important part isn’t putting the words down, it is composing them. 

So what does this mean for you?  You need to figure out what speed you naturally compose at, and you need to pick the capture method best synchronized to that, otherwise you will frustrate yourself.  I have talked to people who compose in gushes and they don’t have time to handwrite it out.  They have to capture it or it’s gone.  Typing or dictation is the best method there.  If it comes out slow, then handwrite it. 

Another thing I learned by experimenting is that I work best by writing in hour-long spurts.  I have ADD, and even though I take medication for it, it is very hard for me to sit longer than that and be productive.  So after an hour of writing, I’ll stand up, walk around, get a drink of water, do a spot of housework, and then go back to writing.  Writing in general is not very natural to me; I’ve had to train myself little by little over years to do this. 

You have to figure out the best way that you work. 

Is there a best time of day for you?  Morning? Afternoon?  Late at night?

Do you have to be in a certain place?

Do you need music or silence? 

Do you need to be fresh or can you be tired?

Do you write best by working for a period of time, or chasing a work-count goal?

Typing or handwriting?

Long writing sessions or shorter sessions?

Do you know what has to happen in your next scene?  Do you know where it's supposed to go? It is hard to write anything if you don’t know what to say.  

 If you don’t know exactly what the characters say, you can at least write down what they are supposed to talk about or what they are supposed to argue about. You can even write down what they might argue about.

I seem to work best when I make a list for a scene of all the important things characters could debate, then a list of things they could gossip about, as well as important things that need to happen.  With that list, I put it in order of priority, and then I start imagining how the characters are going to attack that list.  (It’s like I pretend the character has a to do list.) 

You might think a scene planned like this could end up sounded really mechanical and contrived, but fortunately my ADD kicks in, and I let the characters go through that list any old way they want to.  They can even go off on tangents, but by the end of the scene, they must have hit all the necessary things on the list.  If they don’t hit the important stuff, I keep them there until they finish it.

Occasionally my characters surprise me by throwing in important things I hadn’t previously thought of, rendering my list moot. They open new cans of worms.   After I get done being torked off about that, I realize they were smarter than me and the new direction is better for the story anyway. 

Does this mean the list was a failure?  No, my list becomes the criteria by which I can judge digressions and plot bunnies to see whether they are any good or not.  If it looks better than the stuff I’ve planned, then I know the digression was definitely a good thing.  Otherwise, I need to find where I went off the rails.

Essentially, I outline the things that need to happen in a scene, but I discovery-write the order in which they will occur.  That's one way I try to make my ADD work for me.

Are you excited about what’s supposed to happen?  Let’s face it.  If it doesn’t interest you, then how the heck do you expect a reader to be interested?   However, if you are interested, then by golly, nothing is going to get in the way of your writing that scene.  You’ll want to write it as soon as you can. 

And guess what? You can write it right now.

In my teens, the thing that always made me get bogged down when trying to write a story was that I felt like I had to write through a bunch of boring stuff to get to the exciting stuff.  I thought I had to start at the beginning and write straight to the end. As a result, I never made it very far before I lost interest.

On my first novel that I am currently working on, I threw out the write-from-beginning-to-end rule.  I told myself, “I’m going to write the shiny-sparkly-awesome scenes when I want to.”   And thereby I have written far more on this story than I have ever written on any other story I tried. 

I’ve said to myself, “I’m really interested in writing this scene where the bandit flirts with the priestess while chopping wood,” and even though most of my story hadn’t actually gotten there yet, I wrote it anyway.  I wrote devastating revelations for the end of my story, and then starting filling in the scenes that led up to it.

It’s like building islands in an ocean and then building bridges between them.

What about filler scenes that have to happen but are boring?  You have two tactics you can use.  First, do everything you can to keep from having to write the boring scene. (In the professional office world that 's called procrastination, but in the fictional writing world it's just common courtesy to yourself and your readers.)  Second, if you absolutely have to write it, think of all the crazy things you could do to it to make it more interesting for yourself.  Include a sentient land squid, if you have to, or kill someone with the Traveling Shovel of Death.    

Conclusion

I don’t know if this is all the factors involved in maximizing productivity.  But they are what I have discovered thus far.  (After all, I'm only on my first novel.)

1)   Track your productivity. Dates, times, word-count.  Use mad spreadsheet skilz.

2)   Experiment to find your best working conditions and best capture method that matches your composition speed.

3)   Know what is supposed to happen in that scene in front of you.

4)   Only write the scenes that interest you.   Don’t write the boring scenes until you’ve figured out how they can interest you.

The Tip-off (fiction)

This was written in attempt to answer the question of what life might be like for a psychic pizza delivery boy.

            Just walking up to the front door with the pizza in hand, Jason knew it was going to be difficult to get his tip.  The reclaimed cement lining the front walk, the rusted metal welded into artistic shapes, the cds hanging from the tree branches all spoke of the homeowner as someone who was a determined recycler and confirmed tightwad.  He didn’t have to be psychic to see that.

            He rung the doorbell and waited.  The sun had gone down about ten minutes ago and the glow on the western horizon gave everything a golden outline.

            The door opened and a grizzled, bearded face poked out.  Seeing the pizza box in Jason’s hand, the door was opened a bit wider.  The man had heavy grey eyebrows and sunken cheeks, greasy fingertips and a hacking cough.

            “Pizza for Mister Hanover?”  Jason glanced at the receipt taped to the pizza box.

            “That’s Ha-nover,” said the man. 

            Jason’s psychic senses saw the tip level calculation in Mr. Ha-nover’s head drop a few dollars.  “You must enjoy correcting people who mispronounce your name,” he said.  “When did you decide to pronounce it differently?”  He enjoyed watching the man’s eyes widen and mouth open in surprise.

            “Freshman year of college, huh?  Yeah, I suppose that’s the age to break away from your family, especially when you’re trying to get out from under a dad who’s abusive,” Jason continued sympathetically.

            “Do I know you?” the man’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

            “Not from Adam,” answered Jason cheerfully.  “Twenty-three dollars even, please.”

            “How do you know so much about me then?” asked Mr. Ha-nover as he pulled out his wallet and opened it.

            “Just throwing out crazy wild guesses,” said Jason, adopting an innocent-and-slightly-clueless attitude.   He accepted the two twenties Mr. Ha-nover gave him and handed back a ten and two ones.  “My mom always said I have a crazy imagination.  It starts when I begin making up stories in my head about why people do one particular thing so differently.”  He tucked his own wallet back in his pocket.

            “Really.  You got all that from the pronunciation of my name?”  Mr. Ha-nover leaned against his doorjamb with the pizza box between his hand and his hip.

            “Sort of.”  Jason wasn’t about to explain his abilities at length having pocketed a generous tip.  “We hope you’ll call Pizza Bob’s again soon!  See ya!”  He waved, turned, and jogged back to his car.

            Distraction got them every time, he thought.

The Mysterious Package (writing prompt)

The following is a writing prompt given at a creative writing meeting at the Perry library.. and what I pulled out of it in 10 minutes.

A man receives a package with no return address.  It contains a pirate eye patch and a note.

~~

Cool! I always wanted an eye patch! thought Ron, when he picked it out of the box.  He tried it on.  The black elastic fit perfectly around his head.  It was, of course, hard to see with only one eye, but that was a small price to pay for the awesomeness thereof.  Maybe he'd be able to get a date now when he went to the bars.

But he was forgetting the note.  He went back to the box--a surprisingly large one, considering the small size of the contents--and he picked up the note.  It was unsigned as well.  Too weird.  He hoped it wasn't something psycho, like the anthrax scares of 15 years ago.

"Dear Ron," he read.  "Have received notice of your interest in eye patches and thought to indulge you a little.  This is a special one though, with powers of x-ray vision.  Unfortunately, the activation phrase was reset to be 'Rubber baby buggy bumpers' and I can't figure out how to reset the backdoor."

"So, that's it?" (fiction)

Some might say this sketch is the product of a sick mind.  Actually, this one was two sick minds--a combined effort for a fiction class exercise.  Collaborating with another writer can make unexpected things happen and get you unstuck.

"So, that's it?" Her eyes were eager, but her tone was reproachful.

"Yes." The doctor was ashamed that the goal of triplets was not reached after the third try and three sets of twins.

"Nothing more?" Her hands stretched out, palms up, demanding.

"No.  I don't think so.  That's really it." He avoided her gaze, trying to sound dismissive and firm.  He hated to disappoint his patients.

"So that's it?" she said again harder, as if to give him another chance to give her the answer she wanted.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry the results weren't what you were hoping for." He writhed.

"This is the third time this has happened!"

"Look. This isn't a foolproof procedure.  You've gotten two sets of twins, four beautiful girls. You're going to have another two.  Most people would be happy.  No, wait, most people would have been freaked out!  Why do you insist on triplets?"

"Of course I'm happy!  I love all my girls more than the world. They were just supposed to turn out.. a certain way."

"Things don't always turn out the way we want. Were they supposed to be blue-eyed and red-headed too?"

"No, nothing like that. I just... I always wanted to be one of triplets.  I want to give that gift to my children."

"I'm sorry, I don't quite understand; twins and triplets are very similar.  What's so special about triplets?" the doctor asked, moving toward his desk.  He picked up the phone and dialed security.

First lines that really grab you

In a fiction class I took, one of our class exercises was to write ten first lines that would grab a reader and make them want to keep reading to find out what happens next.  The following were what I came up with.  (This strategy is really good for finding a story to write because writing a single sentence with the suggestion of conflict to come is not very intimidating, and it gives you choices.  If you have ten crazy first sentences, you can choose the one that seems the most intriguing/doable.)

 The time had finally come when Sheila realized she was completely, totally, irrevocably stuck.

When Bob looked out the bedroom window and saw the tank's cannon pointed straight at him, he knew the jig was up.

She woke up to the sound of the dog having a grand mal seizure at the foot of the bed, lots of snapping and shaking.

I was born because my mother was determined to take revenge on my father.

He came home from school committed to starting a hunger strike.

Even with a height of 8' 3", Jamison was the most normal member of his family.

It all started when the cat began to glow.

The beginning of the end for the museum curator was when Miss Bradshaw wore Tomato Passion Red lipstick to work.

My math teacher didn't know it, but today was the day I was going to take over the class.

The snowstorm was both the coldest thing and the luckiest thing that ever happened to Jenny.

The pool drain (fiction)

"Mrs. Elsley, I'm calling about your daughter.  She's in a lot of trouble, and she has a lot of explaining to do."

"What happened?"

"She pulled the plug in the swimming pool."

"Oh dear.  Did she come up alright?"

"Oh yes, she did, Mrs. Elsley, but now the rest of the school is flooded."

"Goodness!  Did she splash that much?  She's always been a splasher; ever since she was little bathtime has been a rather wet affair.."

"No, Mrs. Elsley, she didn't splash.  It was the unplugged swimming pool."

"I don't see how merely pulling a plug could flood an entire school."

"The pool is on the second floor, Mrs. Elsley."

"Whose smart idea was that?!"

"Disgruntled architect, Mrs. Elsley.  He had it in for the superintendent of the district and somehow convinced her that it was a great idea to have the Olympic-sized swimming pool on the second floor."

"Well, that's asking for trouble, but surely there were pipes to drain the water properly.  Was there a
crack in the bottom of the pool?"

"No, no cracks.  The bottom is in perfect condition."

"I don't understand."

"The fire sprinklers, Mrs. Elsley; the swimming pool's drain leads directly to the fire sprinklers."

"The architect?"
"Uh-huh."
"Oh dear. But why would he..."
"Brilliant idea to save water.  This is Las Vegas, you know."

Glacierview (fiction)

This sketch has certain flaws, but the idea behind it still tickles me.  I like the idea of setting up a ridiculous situation and revealing it piece by piece through bare conversation.

"Glacierview Hotel, can I help you?"

"Um, yes, I wanted to confirm I have a reservation for a room?"

"Which room number was that, do you remember?"

"No, not really; I just assumed you'd remember."

"Well, we have the computer keep track of that. What’s your last name?”

“Paxton.”

“Hmm, the computer says you've vacationed here before."

"Yep, had a great time too."

"And you put in a request a year in advance for the same room that you enjoyed before, correct?"
"I believe so.”

"Unfortunately, Mr. Paxton, that request is impossible to fulfill."

"You gave my reservation away? But I made it so far in advance!"

"No, we didn't exactly give it away.  No.  It was sort of…taken."
"By--"

"The glacier.  You know, Glacierview?  The name of this establishment?"

"Oh yes, that makes sense.  I was wondering why there was a wall of ice and snow just ten feet outside my window then.  My kids loved it, though; they had an indoor snowball fight every day.."

"For which damage you paid most generously."

"Flimsy furnishings, I call it."

"Anyway, that room, in fact that entire wing, has been smeared away by the glacier.  Just last month, it was.  BUT!  We anticipated that and immediately began building the next wing on the side of the hotel furthest from the glacier."

"Wait, hasn't this happened several times before?  I remember reading about it in a news magazine back home.  How many new wings have been added onto the hotel since it was first opened?"

"Oh, about ten."

"Ten?"

"Yeah, our hotel is forced to become a bit of a glacier itself, in order to survive." 

(submitted to ANWA newsletter Sept 2016)

Smaller than a bread box

Incorporating silliness makes it fun to write things.  


“Hi, I’m calling about the space for rent?”

“Space, space… OH, yes, the space for rent.  We have all different kinds of space.  What kind do you need?”

“Just a small space.”

“Smaller than a bread box?”

“Well, I need some elbow room.”

“There’s room enough in a bread box to wiggle one’s elbow.”

“But that’s if I only need the space for my elbow.  No, I need to fit in the space too.”

“How big are you, sir?”

“Smaller than a bread box.”

“ARRRRRRRGG!”

“Just kidding!  Calm down!”

Help with visualizing your characters

Sometimes when you are trying to write a story, it is hard to visualize your characters unless you have modeled them after someone you know or have met in real life. I’ve been trying to write my first fantasy/romance story, and I ran up against this challenge.

The solution is Hero Machine 2.5, a web-based application that allows you to make up your own hero character. (I'm putting a link to it in my sidebar as well.) You can choose from a startling array of skin colors, eye shapes, noses, mouths, eyebrows, hairstyles, clothing articles, and gear to put in their hands. You can give them wings or tails, if you so desire.

You can build your characters to match the image you have in your head, or you can simply use it to make your characters in the first place with no preconceived ideas. Either way, it is a lot of fun. Once you take a screenshot and save it to your character file, you’ll end up with an image you can reference so you don't make silly mistakes in character descriptions. (“What color was the king’s hair again? How long was his beard?”)

Just for grins, I am going to put up some heroes and heroines that I created, just so you see what is possible.